well, more like tipsy.

had a really bad day at work. i had a meeting with him (yes, him...my boss, the guy i WAS hopelessly in love with) and really, i haven't seen him for the longest time but he was there and he has the most perfect hands and i can't look at him for long because i can feel my heart swelling with memories. nothing happened before and it's a good reminder that he'll remain a fantasy forever.

so anyway, yeah. stressful day at work.

so we went to irish village and i drank 2 huge glasses of bullfrog. god i love their bullfrogs, it's so yummy. right, so now i'm wide awake and i feel like vomiting but i feel like of okay and tipsy. i'm very confused.

jackie and i talked about sex and love and travelling and how work sucks and no luck with job interviews and pushy clients and dreams and relationships and boys and men and how i need to plan my future.

it was a good night. it was pointless, but good.

oh and the taxi ride home sucked.

A VERY LATE HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!

2009 went by in a rush and I spent most of it stalking fandom and complaining about work.

I remember having a dream when 2009 started, I said I was going to places and will be doing
lots of new things but then it went by so fast I didn't really have time to think that nothing really happened.

I must confess, to leave the year behind:

- Sometimes, I stare at notepad and will myself to write something (ANYTHING!) just to make this journal feel alive again but nothing ever comes out.

- I cried a couple of times in the bathroom. Once on my birthday and another time after I called home.

- 2009 was a though year. There's a little bit of guilt in my smile, until now.

- I've been horny all year because sex didn't happen. AGAIN.

- I stopped using plastic bags but I still smoke so I can't really be proud of myself can I?


RANDOM! Things besides work that is eating me alive:

- Love Shuffle
- The Wallflower (manga)
- GANTZ (manga)
- The Graveyard Book
- Avatar (I LOVED THE MOVIE JDKJSDFJKLDFJL!!!)
- The Gay Rainbow Boyband
- Coco Martin

I will be more coherent I promise. Posting things seem so new to me now that I just...don't know.

We're not strangers to flood. We've experienced spending a whole night on the rooftop just trying to keep our sanity while everything we own got destroyed. It happened 3 times before but surprisingly, it didn't happen with Ondoy.

I'm thankful but there's a hole in my heart because while we're safe and our possessions are still intact, there are a lot of other people who suffered.

My parents are kind of obsessed with anything that's related to Ondoy, they read newspaper articles, they listen to radio programs and try as I might to disconnect myself from all of it I can't because it happened to us before and I know how hopelessness felt like.

So I talked to my parents and told them that watching and reading and listening about the aftermath of Ondoy would not help the people who suffered. We have to do something.

Tomorrow we'll be donating what we can to help.

It's the best money I've spent in a long long time.

***

On a lighter note, goodbye Philippines.